Exemplification revised draft.

After recieving the feedback from Mrs. Basko I have created a new Exemplification draft with her suggested edits. I think that this draft is more successful than the origional,  it does a better job of Showing the reader about Dave Mathews rather than telling them about it.

Taylor Dreste
College comp- Exemplification essay

    “See you and me have a better time than most can dream of, better than the best, so we can pull on through, whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done, we'll make the best of what's around.”

- Dave Matthews

He was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1967, and  is now one of the worlds most popular musical artist, and in my opinion most talented, best music artist or all time. creating a genre of his own with sort of a blue grassy Jazz feel makes Dave Matthews an absolute sensation to listen to. He has made a  total of six albums, has won two Grammy awards for best rock performance by vocal duo or group in 1997 and best male rock performance in 2004, The Dave Matthews band has one of the most leading crowd attracting tours in the world.
    I was exactly five years old when I was first put up against the Dave Matthews band. I remember driving to the concert for what I felt like hours to the Darien Lake performing arts center. My parents always blared his music through the speakers inside and outside of our house. The music did sound somewhat familiar to me at this concert but not enough to connect them. I was far to little to appreciate any of  his music, all I was concerned about at this time was going home. The performance speakers were too loud for me to handle and I felt very uncomfortable in the concert scene. With drunks surrounding me, I sat there crying while my parents danced to the music.
    It was not until about seven or eight years after that concert that I found a secret fascination for Dave Matthews music. During a family gathering one day, of coarse my parents were blasting his music in our house, I actually started to analyze his music, and I actually remember realizing to my self.. wow, what an awesome artist.. The next day I begged my mom to go back to that concert again. Of coarse both parents agreed. The two weeks leading up to the concert were horrible. I could barely stay in my own skin, I counted the hours until I would be in the front row of his concert. Two days before the concert (on my birthday) my mom barged into my room "Happy Birthday Taylor!!!, guess what?!"
"what?" I said tiredly, as she came in at seven in the morning.
"Surprise! pack your bags!, our plane leaves tomorrow morning to San Diego California, we will be there just in time to catch the concert the next day!"
I could hardly believe her, I was shocked in awe and fell to the floor. My mom had tricked me the whole time telling me the concert was in Buffalo again. I literally played Dave music for the whole entire plane ride. Arriving at the hotel we had room service take our bags and I immediately went to bed, tomorrow could not come sooner. The next day I brought my CD player to brush up on the songs on the car ride there. Arriving, I raced to get the best seat in the lawn seating. He opened with the song "Where are you going" one of my all time favorites. He performed absolutely beautifully, playing over twenty songs. I could not believe how utterly talented this man was, I was in shock from the concert for the next two weeks. All I was talking about was how well he performed. I took a break from the concerts until..
    With my seventeenth birthday nearing, all I wanted for it was to go to the Dave Matthews two day concert in Saratoga springs with my friends. As I opened up a tiny card from my parents on the day of my birthday, it was just what I had wished for, four Dave Matthews tickets in the fourth row! I was intensely excited and again brushed up on my songs every day until the night of the concert. We camped in tents and had a blast at the concert. The song “Grey Street” by Dave Matthews takes me back to that night with my friends every time I hear it. We blasted to this song, all of us knew every single word. His performance of this song was unforgettable, he sang the song exactly like it sounded on his album and added a few parts of his own that were sensational.
    It is very neat how all of Dave Matthews songs have a peculiar meaning to them. One that is particularly interesting is the song “Satellite”. The song is about how everyone is mesmerized by the technology in the world, the video shows a man watching twenty five televisions showing absolute crap. A girl is shown outside enjoying life in the woods blowing bubbles, the man leaves his television to go enjoy life, essentially saying that, that is where he really belongs. The song is a metaphor for how people in this day and age are becoming too overly obsessed with technology that they are forgetting to enjoy the real and simple things about life. All of Dave Matthews songs have a very unique meaning and it is conveyed through many of his music videos.
    I also find it fascinating how Dave Matthews is able to memorize all of his songs, never forgetting a single word. At his 2010 summer concert at the Canandaigua performing arts center he performed a song that he had not practiced singing a single time since 2006. With over seventy recorded songs, this would be almost impossible for any normal human being to accomplish.
        In reality Dave Matthews is just like any other person, he gives back an exceeding amount to charity funds, hosting many concerts to benefit hurricane Katrina. He has also involved himself in charity foundations such as the Brama works fund., Green music group, HeadCount, Kokua Hawaii foundation, Live earth, Stand up for a care and World AIDS day.
    There are many attributes that In my opinion make Dave Matthews my favorite and most talented artists I have ever heard. He is also one of the worlds favorite  rock, Jazz, Bluegrass artist of all time. His music is amazing to listen to and puts me in a great mood every time I hear any one of his songs. It is hard for a musician to create six albums where every single song has a personal meaning and is well liked by millions of fans, but Dave Matthews has successfully accomplished this task to the greatest extent.