These next few introductions are alternate introductions to my cookie comparison/contrast essay. I tried to use many different ways to make each introduction unique. I think that they are all very different from each other but all three grab the readers attention. In my first introduction, my favorite, I gave a very interesting fact and also introduced the assignment put upon me which gave a point to the essay. My second revised introduction was my least favorite, it is too short to grab a readers attention and doesn't have a point at all. I think my third introduction was unique because it sort of introduced the essay in a different format. It was good, but probably not good for a comparison/contrast essay.
1) The chocolate chip cookie was an accidental finding, when Ruth wakefield was baking cookies one day. She decided to keep the chocolate in chunks rather then melting it in her cookies. since then this accident has been carried on for many years, modifying her recipe to create whats said to be the best cookie on earth. Many brands take a different view on the chocolate chip cookie and modify it to make it their own. Introduced in class, we had an assignment to analyze the texture taste and smell of Chips Ahoy!, Murray sugar free, Keeblers chips deluxe, wegmans, archway farms and pepperridge farm soft batch chocolate chip cookies.
2) Many different cookies have certain characteristics that make each one of them unique. although classified under the same genre of "chocolate chip cookies" no two of them are the exact same. No chocolate chips are evenly dispersed in the exact same way and the blend of the ingredients in each cookie can never be exact.
3) During our class assignment we had to sit and analyze chocolate chip cookies, everybody had to have an open mind to the assignment in order to make it successful. Somebody who hates chocolate chip cookies had to learn to put this aside and still analyze the cookies well, although they still might have different tastes then others.
I liked your second introduction because its true, each chocolate chip cookie is different from the other one. i also liked your vocabulary you used in it with "dispersed". I liked the first introduction because it gave a background outlet to the reader and showed how you were going to compare each chocolate chip cookie by the textures and smells and gave a list of each brand you were to compare. I liked the third introduction because it showed that during the experiment everyone had an open mind and provided a better outlook on which brand was to be the best. Out of all the introductions the second was definitely my favorite!
ReplyDeleteHi Taylor,
ReplyDeleteBe sure to introduce this entry and what you are talking about. If you need to see a sample, I think that Caroline does this pretty well in this entry:
http://sugarlandd.blogspot.com/2011/01/possible-introductions-for-chocolate.html
But I would even like to hear more analysis and some reflection in the end discussing which one is the best.
It might also help to include your original as part of the post and some reflection on it prior to the revised ones.
Ms. Basko