Reflection cover letter

Dear reader,
College composition has been a great class for me, I have learned more in this coarse than I would have ever imagined. Before this class I was sort of a lazy writer, I always wrote papers for previous english classes but never analyzed them. This class taught me how to use various writing techniques such as exemplification, Showing the reader not telling them, how to write successfull and intriqueing conclusions and introductions to make my writing more interesting. Through the long analysis process after completing an essay I realized a lot about how I could better my drafts that I did not realize when I was writing it. Peer analysis also helped a lot though out the coarse, it was very helpful to hear what others thought of my work, and incoorperate their ideas into a revised draft.

I think that I have grown tremendously as a writer during my senior year. By completing all different kinds of drafts such as process analysis, exemplification, character sketch, a pictures worth a thousand words, seven deadly sins, comparison contrast and more, I have prepared myself for college writing. My greatest stide that I think I have taken in this coarse I would say would be writing my exemplification paper, it allowed me to write down how I really felt about a subject into a well written creative piece. Using various exemplification techniques such as statistics, anecdotes, quotes, questions and more, I think made each part of this paper seem interesting and creative.

Each post I have created in my blog is unique and different from one another, because each essay is a different type of writing style, their analysis's and revised drafts are nothing alike. My first post is the analysis and draft of my comparing and contrasting a chocolate chip cookie essay. Here I tried to analyze the whole experience of the assignment, as well as analyzing the essay as a whole. My second post shows some alternate inroductions to this paper, all starting in different ways. Here I tried to use different introduction techniques while still maintaining a catchy introduction. My third post is the first draft and analysis of my Seven Deadly Sins essay. Here I tried to analyze how interesting it was for me to create a paper and a analysis on a topic I have never been familiar with, but still trying to make the essay flow. This leads right into my fourth post where I have posted a revised draft of my seven deadly sins paper. I think that this draft cleared up some of the questions the reader might have had by reading the first draft, and had a better flow than the first draft. In my fifth post I have created alternate conclusions to my seven deadly sins essay. Here like my alternate introductions, I have used different techniques in closing my essay while trying to maintain an interesting ending. My sixth post is an analysis and draft of my partner Grant's and I "How to work at Wickham Farms" essay. I enjoyed writing this essay because it was a topic that we were both very familiar with and it was fun to analyze the topic together and write the essay. Receiving peer feedback for this essay also helped me  understand and analyze revisions we could later incorperate in our draft. My seventh post asked Mrs. Basko to analyze certain things about my exemplification paper, the one I believed to be my biggest stride in the coarse. And in my eighth post I have posted my new draft to this paper using the useful feedback that I received. Hope you enjoy my blog :)
Taylor Dreste

Exemplification revised draft.

After recieving the feedback from Mrs. Basko I have created a new Exemplification draft with her suggested edits. I think that this draft is more successful than the origional,  it does a better job of Showing the reader about Dave Mathews rather than telling them about it.

Taylor Dreste
College comp- Exemplification essay

    “See you and me have a better time than most can dream of, better than the best, so we can pull on through, whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down, and if nothing can be done, we'll make the best of what's around.”

- Dave Matthews

He was born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1967, and  is now one of the worlds most popular musical artist, and in my opinion most talented, best music artist or all time. creating a genre of his own with sort of a blue grassy Jazz feel makes Dave Matthews an absolute sensation to listen to. He has made a  total of six albums, has won two Grammy awards for best rock performance by vocal duo or group in 1997 and best male rock performance in 2004, The Dave Matthews band has one of the most leading crowd attracting tours in the world.
    I was exactly five years old when I was first put up against the Dave Matthews band. I remember driving to the concert for what I felt like hours to the Darien Lake performing arts center. My parents always blared his music through the speakers inside and outside of our house. The music did sound somewhat familiar to me at this concert but not enough to connect them. I was far to little to appreciate any of  his music, all I was concerned about at this time was going home. The performance speakers were too loud for me to handle and I felt very uncomfortable in the concert scene. With drunks surrounding me, I sat there crying while my parents danced to the music.
    It was not until about seven or eight years after that concert that I found a secret fascination for Dave Matthews music. During a family gathering one day, of coarse my parents were blasting his music in our house, I actually started to analyze his music, and I actually remember realizing to my self.. wow, what an awesome artist.. The next day I begged my mom to go back to that concert again. Of coarse both parents agreed. The two weeks leading up to the concert were horrible. I could barely stay in my own skin, I counted the hours until I would be in the front row of his concert. Two days before the concert (on my birthday) my mom barged into my room "Happy Birthday Taylor!!!, guess what?!"
"what?" I said tiredly, as she came in at seven in the morning.
"Surprise! pack your bags!, our plane leaves tomorrow morning to San Diego California, we will be there just in time to catch the concert the next day!"
I could hardly believe her, I was shocked in awe and fell to the floor. My mom had tricked me the whole time telling me the concert was in Buffalo again. I literally played Dave music for the whole entire plane ride. Arriving at the hotel we had room service take our bags and I immediately went to bed, tomorrow could not come sooner. The next day I brought my CD player to brush up on the songs on the car ride there. Arriving, I raced to get the best seat in the lawn seating. He opened with the song "Where are you going" one of my all time favorites. He performed absolutely beautifully, playing over twenty songs. I could not believe how utterly talented this man was, I was in shock from the concert for the next two weeks. All I was talking about was how well he performed. I took a break from the concerts until..
    With my seventeenth birthday nearing, all I wanted for it was to go to the Dave Matthews two day concert in Saratoga springs with my friends. As I opened up a tiny card from my parents on the day of my birthday, it was just what I had wished for, four Dave Matthews tickets in the fourth row! I was intensely excited and again brushed up on my songs every day until the night of the concert. We camped in tents and had a blast at the concert. The song “Grey Street” by Dave Matthews takes me back to that night with my friends every time I hear it. We blasted to this song, all of us knew every single word. His performance of this song was unforgettable, he sang the song exactly like it sounded on his album and added a few parts of his own that were sensational.
    It is very neat how all of Dave Matthews songs have a peculiar meaning to them. One that is particularly interesting is the song “Satellite”. The song is about how everyone is mesmerized by the technology in the world, the video shows a man watching twenty five televisions showing absolute crap. A girl is shown outside enjoying life in the woods blowing bubbles, the man leaves his television to go enjoy life, essentially saying that, that is where he really belongs. The song is a metaphor for how people in this day and age are becoming too overly obsessed with technology that they are forgetting to enjoy the real and simple things about life. All of Dave Matthews songs have a very unique meaning and it is conveyed through many of his music videos.
    I also find it fascinating how Dave Matthews is able to memorize all of his songs, never forgetting a single word. At his 2010 summer concert at the Canandaigua performing arts center he performed a song that he had not practiced singing a single time since 2006. With over seventy recorded songs, this would be almost impossible for any normal human being to accomplish.
        In reality Dave Matthews is just like any other person, he gives back an exceeding amount to charity funds, hosting many concerts to benefit hurricane Katrina. He has also involved himself in charity foundations such as the Brama works fund., Green music group, HeadCount, Kokua Hawaii foundation, Live earth, Stand up for a care and World AIDS day.
    There are many attributes that In my opinion make Dave Matthews my favorite and most talented artists I have ever heard. He is also one of the worlds favorite  rock, Jazz, Bluegrass artist of all time. His music is amazing to listen to and puts me in a great mood every time I hear any one of his songs. It is hard for a musician to create six albums where every single song has a personal meaning and is well liked by millions of fans, but Dave Matthews has successfully accomplished this task to the greatest extent.

Exemplification paper feedback.

I picked to recieve feedback on my exemplification paper becasue I feel that I spend the most time trying to put a unique twist to the essay. I think I wrote this pretty well, but because I thought it was my best I think I should try to perfect it even more by recieving feedback to make it better. In this paper I thought I did a good job of describing to the reader my feelings. I would like to recieve feedback on my use of exemplification techniques to make the paper sound even more like a creative piece. I would also like to know if my exemplification adds to create the impression of how much I like Dave Mathews. Other things that I would like feedback are my introduction and conclusion, I think they should start and end with something very dominant about Dave Mathews or myself loving his music, and make this fact or statement stand out more than it does now.

Taylor Dreste

College comp- Exemplification essay

            Born in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1967, Dave Matthews is one of the worlds biggest music legends, creating a genre of his own with sort of a blue grassy Jazz feel that is absolutely amazing to listen to. Making six total albums, and winning two grammy awards for best rock performance by vocal duo or group in 1997 and best male rock performance in 2004, The Dave Mathews band has one of the most leading crowd attracting tours in the world.

            I have been listening to Dave Matthews since I was a child, when my parents dragged me to the concerts, too little to appreciate the concept of his songs but I still considered myself a die heart Dave fan. As I got older and his songs were always playing through out our house I began to analyze the music more, and discovered that I had a love for his so interesting genre of music. The first song that I constantly played on my ipod, listening to every ten minutes, memorizing every word, was the song Ants Marching. This is one of the most popular Dave songs and I fell for it as soon as I heard it, since Dave Matthews was always blaring though our speakers it was not a hard song to miss.

            With my seventeenth birthday nearing, all I wanted for it was to go to the Dave Matthews two day concert in Saratoga springs with my friends. As I opened up a tiny card from my parents on the day of my birthday, it was just what I had wished for, four Dave Matthews tickets in the fourth row! I was intensely excited and brushed up on my songs every day until the night of the concert. We camped in tents and had a blast at the concert. The song “Grey Street” by Dave Matthews takes me back to that night with my friends every time I hear it. His performance of this song was unforgettable, he sang the song exactly like it sounded on his album and added a few parts of his own that were sensational.

            It is very neat how all of Dave Mathews songs have a peculiar meaning to them. One that is particularly interesting is the song “Satellite”. The song is about how everyone is mesmerized by the technology in the world, the video shows a man watching twenty five televisions showing absolute crap. A girl is shown outside enjoying life in the woods blowing bubbles, the man leaves his television to go enjoy life, essentially saying that, that is where he really belongs. The song is a metaphor for how people in this day and age are becoming too overly obsessed with technology that they are forgetting to enjoy the real and simple things about life. All of Dave Matthews songs have a very unique meaning and it is conveyed through many of his music videos.

            It is very fascinating that Dave Matthews is able to memorize all of his songs, never forgetting a single word. At his 2010 summer concert at the Canandaigua performing arts center he performed a song that he had not practiced singing a single time since 2006. With over seventy recorded songs, this would be almost impossible for any normal human being to accomplish.

                        In reality Dave Matthews is just like any other person, he gives back an exceeding amount to charity funds, hosting many concerts to benefit hurricane Katrina. He has also involved himself in charity foundations such as the Brama works fund., Green music group, HeadCount, Kokua Hawaii foundation, Live earth, Stand up for a care and World AIDS day.

            There are many attributes that In my opinion make Dave Matthews the leading rock, Jazz, Bluegrass artist of all time. His music is amazing to listen to and puts me in a great mood every time I hear any one of his songs. It is hard for a musician to create six albums where every single song has a personal meaning and is well liked by millions of fans.

How-to process/ analysis draft reflection

My initial thoughts on this assignment were weird. I did not know how I was going to come up with a list of "steps" to give a reader without making the paper too confusing. And I had never written something like this paper ever before.  When I was thinking of topics I kept getting stuck, thinking about doing certain topics but they were too mainstream or I did not have enough information to write steps on the subject. When I found that Grant was my partner this narrowed down the topic choice to only one. We both knew what we wanted to do because we both have worked together at Wickham Farms. Looking at the paper now I would make a few revisions, I would make the process a little clearer. To do this I would make a better description as to why these certain steps are so crucial and why they are necessary to do to work at Wickham farms. One example being when we say

• Please the bosses wife
• The bosses wife is a somewhat harder to please than the boss himself. She always has something she wants you to do, and it is best to just do it. Getting on her good side is the first thing you should try to do as an employee at Wickham Farms. If you accomplish that, your time working will be much simpler. 

I think that we should have elaborated more on these paragraphs before the steps. Maybe have a certain case where somebody has disobeyed a rule. We should state what punishments could happen if one does not follow a rule.

To improve the paper I think that we should put more descriptions into how to achieve each step, and say how this will make it more successful.

Grant Hines and Taylor Dreste

Ms. Basko

College Composition

12/2/10

How to Work at Wickham Farms

            Wickham Farms is a place of business. They serve various ice creams and foods. It also provides “family fun” outdoor activities, such as a jumping pillow, mini golf course, batting cage, petting zoo, and corn maze. Working there is fun, if you know what you are doing. Follow these simple rules and your time employed there could be exceptionally fun. We are experts on the subject.

1. Know your ice cream

There are many Hershey’s brand ice cream flavors. Some are premium, some are not. It is important to know which ice creams can be served to those who cannot have gluten, and similarly for those who cannot have peanuts. If you familiarize yourself with the ice cream, a rush will be fairly easy to handle.

• Memorize each flavor.
• Know the location of each flavor.
• Be able to say what each ice cream is made of.
• Pricing is important; know how much each size is.
1. Please the boss

He is fairly easy to please, as long as you do what he says. He is always a nice and reasonable guy, but he may joke around a bit. Don’t take what he says personally, as it is probably just a joke. He is the man.

• Do what he says.
• Ask questions if you are unsure.
• Work quickly.
• Don’t joke about him, joke with him.
2. Please the bosses wife

The bosses wife is a somewhat harder to please than the boss himself. She always has something she wants you to do, and it is best to just do it. Getting on her good side is the first thing you should try to do as an employee at Wickham Farms. If you accomplish that, your time working will be much simpler.

• Do EXACTLY what you are told.
• If your boss says to do something, and so does the wife, do what the wife says first.
• Even if it’s an unnecessary task, do it to perfection.
• Do NOT stand around.
3. Know how to fix things

Believe it or not, things break. This is true at Wickham Farms as well. Many things break, whether it is a chair or a fryer, it has to be fixed. Most of the time, you can figure out how to fix it on your own. There are plenty of tools in the barn, so it is easy to find what you need for the fix.

• Have some handyman skills.
• Don’t be afraid to use tools.
• Try to fix things before you tell the boss.
4. Be prepared for anything

MANY unforeseen things happen at Wickham Farms. It could be a crying mother about her son’ birthday cake that isn’t ready. It could also be for someone who got hit in the face by their daughter’s foul ball in the batting cages. You never know what could happen.

• If something weird happens, just go with it.
• Don’t be afraid of things that happen.
• Take some time to think about what you should do before acting upon it.
• Figure out the best solution, and act upon it.
5. Be friendly

While many customers are often cruel and unruly, as an employee you should always be friendly. How hard is it to crack a smile or use some manners? A little bit of niceness can go a long way.

• Smile.
• Laugh.
• Answer questions in a friendly manner, no matter how redundant they are.
• Use the manners that your mother taught you.
6. Know how to drive

While knowing how to drive isn’t necessary, it helps a lot around the farm. Getting there and knowing how to use a tractor are very important at the Wickham’s. Know how to drive these things:

• Car
• Truck
• Tractor
• Lawn Mower
7. Don’t ask questions!

This step is pretty self explanatory. You can ask questions if you are unsure of something, but don’t ask dumb questions…

Conclusionnnnn

 Here I have decided to create alternate conclusions to my seven deadly sins essay. I choose my first one to restate the main points of the essay, I think this was the best one I created because it fits the story the best. By summing up key points it points out to the reader exactly when and where each sin was committed. I thought my second one was okay but not great, it was sort of irrelevant to the story but did hold a purpose to why these sins were so deadly, giving a point to the essay. By analyzing these different types of conclusions I have realized that my original one was not very good. These new ways to conclude my essay such as ending with a question, quote, prediction, fact, restatement ect. have given me a different perspective towards how I could better my original.

Type 1) In this conclusion I am concluding with a restatement of my thesis and key points through out the story.
At Sally Sue's supposed to be enjoyable party in the park, all seven deadly sins were unknowingly successfully committed. The guests engulfment in food indicates gluttony, and Sally's lackadaisical attitude towards preparing gourmet meals for her guests indicated sloth. the rich man asking for money indicates greed, Jim's interest in Sally indicated lust, and his lashing out on her boyfriend indicated wrath and envy. Henry showing off his big catch indicated pride.

Type 2) A recommendation or call to action- urge readers to do specific things relating to the topic.

The seven deadly sins are supposivly very sinful to the catholics and if one commits them to an extent can be shunned from the church. Instead one should embrace their opposites in order to live a successful and kind life. At Sally Sues picnic all of the seven deadly sins were committed to an extreme, not one sin was not committed. If the people at the party were to practice the sins opposites Sally could have enjoyed her seventeenth birthday party without major controversy.

Type 3) Prediction- Concludes with logical predictions, in no place make the essay go a whole other direction.

It is very sinful to engage in these seven deadly sins, and Sally Sues party is just an example of careless teens who dont take to heart the ethics of life. If this behavior in teens keeps up, many will end up with little to no life morals and engage more in these risky sins.

revised seven deadly sins essay

Here is a revised draft of my Seven Deadly sins essay. I have tried to make the story line of the paper flow together more, so that one random event does not just happen after another. I have also tried to make it so that the reader knows exactly when a specific event is happening, after one occurs I made it obvious by saying "and this concluded the completion of the sin of ___ ." or I stated that an event was happening in the form of a sin, for example .. "In anger,". I think this has made the paper easier to follow and holds a better concept than the previous one.
 Taylor Dreste

7 deadly sins draft

            The seven deadly sins are Sloth, envy, gluttony, wrath, lust, pride, and greed, some how, at seventeen year old Sally Sue’s seventeenth birthday party at High Fields park, all seven of these were successfully committed. Sally had a boyfriend named Frederick.

Jim was sitting on the bench that was across from the pond. It was a very hot day out and Sally decided to go for a swim with her guests. Jim was staring strangely at Sally; he thought that Sally looked beautiful, even though his wife Cristal was at home cooking dinner for him and his family. This moment indicated that Jim was performing the sin of Lust.  Jim could not take his eyes off of Sally. Suddenly Frederick entered the pond and Jim realized that Frederick was her boyfriend. Jim was very jealous of Frederick because he was together with the girl he could not take his eyes off of indicating the act of envy.   In Wrath and anger, Jim walked over to Frederick and told him that this pond has reached its maximum capacity. Frederick argued that that was a lie and hardly anybody was swimming in it, angered Jim punched Frederick and then fled the scene.

            Meanwhile Sally’s good friend Henry was fishing in the river, he had been fishing since the party had begun and had not one single bite. After about two hours of trying to catch, Henry made one last cast before he decided to call it a day. On his last catch he caught a huge fish, weighing around 15 pounds and about a foot and a half long. Henry ran back to the pavilion and showed off his fish to the whole party. He took dignity in the fish that he caught showing off his egotistical attitude towards his catch. He unknowingly had just committed the deadly sin of Pride.  

                It was about quarter to nine and Sally’s guests were extremely hungry. Sally had not prepared much food; she threw a few boxes of frozen French fries and frozen macaroni and cheese in the microwave and served it to her guests. She was too lazy to prepare a real meal for her guests. All of the food served at her party came from a box or can. By preparing such an easy crappy meal for her guests Sally herself had committed the deadly sin of Sloth. The guests still all indulged in the food. Regardless of how it was prepared they were all starving. The food was vanished within a half hour; they had not been served for the whole picnic. Every person engulfed as much food as their stomach could hold indicating the act of gluttony.

            After dinner everybody decided to go on the play ground nearby. Not far away, Sally spotted a man near the parking lot. He seemed very rich pulling up in his brand new 2010 Mercedes. Performing the sin of greed, he walked up to another old man fishing in the pond near the parking lot. He then told the old man how he was in need of money to eat this evening. The old man told him that he was full of himself; he clearly had enough money by the looks of his clothes, appearance and car. Sally thought over and over again in her head as to why he would go ask a little old man for money when he looked like he already had plenty?

            Sally’s picnic was nearing a close and all the guests were going home. The day and night were very eventful and all seven of the deadly sins had been successfully committed.

7 Deadly sins paper

When I first drafted this paper I had no idea where to start. I was a little confused on the topic but once I started writing it it started coming together more. I thought it was hard to have all of these elements of all seven sins fit into one paper. It was hard to make a story out of them, I wrote my draft pretty fast so some of it did not really make sense or the context was confusing.

It was hard to come up with a story, but once the story was established it was easy to think of minor details in the story to relate to the deadly sins being committed.

Through this I learned a lot about exemplification,by exemplifying or elaborating on instances where the sins were committed, it made the event stick out more and made the sin being committed more noticeable. I think I could have added more exemplification techniques to make the instances explain the sin even more.

After re reading this yesterday I realized that some of the story is confusing and out of context. I should have made it more story like then just adding random events that happen to make sure every sin is committed.

The greatest strengths of the paper were making it clear when, where,how and at what time each sin was being committed. And which sin was taking place at each time was pretty clear. I think to make it better I should have straight out told the reader, which sin took place after an event for example " the guests all indulged in their food and the sin of gluttony was successfully committed".

overall I need to work on the context and reaffirming the reader which sin was happening at which time, and to make the paper more of a story than a bunch of random events.

All seven deadly sins were committed on October 30^th at Sally Sue’s picnic at the park. Sally was a seventeen year old girl, She had a boyfriend named Frederick. Her picnic was held at High Fields park, Jim was sitting on the bench that was across from the pond. It was a very hot day out and Sally decided to go for a swim with the guests. Jim was staring strangely at Sally, He thought that she looked beautiful even though his wife Cristal was at home cooking dinner for him and his family, Jim could not take his eyes off of Sally. Suddenly Frederick entered the pond and Jim realized that Frederick was her boyfriend. In Rage, Jim walked over to Frederick and told him that this pond has reached its maximum capacity. Frederick argued that that was a lie and hardly anybody was swimming in it, angered Jim punched Frederick and then fled the scene.

            Meanwhile Sally’s good friend Henry was fishing in the river, he had been fishing since the party had began and had not one single bite. After about two hours of trying to catch, Henry made one last cast before he decided to call it a day. On his last catch he caught a huge fish, weighing around 15 pounds and about a foot and a half long. Henry ran back to the pavilion and showed off his fish to the whole party. He took great pride in the fish that he caught and showed it off for the rest of the day and night.

                It was about quarter to nine and Sally’s guests were extremely hungry. Sally had not prepared much, she threw a few boxes of frozen French fries and frozen macaroni and cheese in the microwave and served it to her guests. She was too lazy to prepare a real meal for her guests. All of the food served at her party came from a box or can. The guests all indulged in the food. Regardless of how it was prepared they were all starving. The food was vanished within a half hour, they had not been served for the whole picnic and every person engulfed as much food as their stomach could hold.

            After dinner everybody decided to go on the play ground nearby. Not far away, Sally spotted a man near the parking lot. He seemed very rich pulling up in his brand new 2010 Mercedes. He walked up to another old man fishing in the pond near the parking lot. She then heard him telling the old man how he was in need of money to eat this evening. The old man told him that he was full of himself, he clearly had enough money by the looks of his clothes, appearance and car. Sally thought over and over again in her head as to why he would go ask a little old man for money when he looked like he already had plenty?

            Sally’s picnic was nearing a close and all the guests were going home. The day and night were very eventful and all seven of the deadly sins had been successfully committed.

introooooooooooooooo

 These next few introductions are alternate introductions to my cookie comparison/contrast essay. I tried to use many different ways to make each introduction unique. I think that they are all very different from each other but all three grab the readers attention. In my first introduction, my favorite, I gave a very interesting fact and also introduced the assignment put upon me which gave a point to the essay. My second revised introduction was my least favorite, it  is too short to grab a readers attention and doesn't have a point at all. I think my third introduction was unique because it sort of introduced the essay in a different format. It was good, but probably not good for a comparison/contrast essay.

1) The chocolate chip cookie was an accidental finding, when Ruth wakefield was baking cookies one day. She decided to keep the chocolate in chunks rather then melting it in her cookies. since then this accident has been carried on for many years, modifying her recipe to create whats said to be the best cookie on earth. Many brands take a different view on the chocolate chip cookie and modify it to make it their own. Introduced in class, we had an assignment to analyze the texture taste and smell of Chips Ahoy!, Murray sugar free, Keeblers chips deluxe, wegmans, archway farms and pepperridge farm soft batch chocolate chip cookies.

2) Many different cookies have certain characteristics that make each one of them unique. although classified under the same genre of "chocolate chip cookies" no two of them are the exact same. No chocolate chips are evenly dispersed in the exact same way and the blend of the ingredients in each cookie can never be exact.

3) During our class assignment we had to sit and analyze chocolate chip cookies, everybody had to have an open mind to the assignment in order to make it successful. Somebody who hates chocolate chip cookies had to learn to put this aside and still analyze the cookies well, although they still might have different tastes then others.

Food Paper

when I first started this paper I had to learn how to really analyze something, how to break down the real basics of the chocolate chip cookie. I struggled a little with the first draft because there was a lot of information that had to be condensed into an essay format. I also struggled a little because I did not really know how to put the feelings about the cookie into words. I enjoyed tasting the cookies because it was interesting to see how under the same classification of "chocolate chip cookies" all of the different cookie brands tasted so different and were very unique. It was sometimes frusterating to try to write down on paper what I actually though of it, describing in detail a simple cookie was challenging and frusterating. In order to write this paper I had to develop techniques such as knowing how to put in useful quotations, understanding more background knowledge of the cookie and decifering opinions.
After re reading my paper again today I realized that I established a good introduction to the paper. I thought this because it explained my definition of the chocolate chip cookie and established exactly what the paper was going to be about by saying " from the sampled brands ( the names of brands) the cookies had a very wide variety of prescence and tastes that make each one unique". this was a good way of introducing the paper but I think that I should have intoduced the assignment first before jumping into saying the sampled brands without saying how got the sampled brands or why they were sampled. That is also what my partner said about my paper, she said other than that my paper had very good description in it. I plan to indroduce more of the history of the chocolate chip rather then making the paper strictly comparing the different cookie brands and to add more details that gives the reader a better idea of exactly what everyone else and myself thought of the cookie.

Taylor Dreste

College comp- cookie compare and contrast.

            The “Chocolate chip cookie” can have so many unique characteristics that are rarely thought about.  The basis of a chocolate chip cookie remains the same, in my opinion being a delicious treat consisting of a sugary beigeish cookie base, with chocolate chunks dispersed through out the cookie. There are in fact many factors that can set apart one chocolate chip cookie from another. Whether it be the texture, size, shape, smell or taste of the cookie, no two chocolate chip cookies are the exact same. From the sampled cookie brands of Keebler’s Chips Deluxe, Nabisco’s Chips ahoy!, Murray’s sugar free cookie, Archway’s chocolate chip, Wegman’s chocolate chip and Mantauk’s soft batch chocolate chunk, the cookies have a very wide variety of presence and taste’s that make each unique.

            Packaging plays a major role to the attraction of the cookie. Cookie brands such as Chips Ahoy! And Chips Deluxe had packaging that seemed to attract a younger age group, with pictures of children on them, fun games and slogans such as “A great snack for in your lunchbox”.  These showed off more of the “cool” package rather than the delectable treat. The Murray sugar free cookies had a very bland package, the chocolate chip cookie shown on the package did not look appealing, with only a few chocolate chips in the picture. The package did not have any good design to it either; it was a simple royal blue color with a gold stripe, not very appealing to taste testers. The Wegman’s cookie had clear packaging to see the actual cookie. I thought that this was a neat idea because it gave a great sense of how appealing the real cookie looked rather

Than on paper. Archway’s Package was quite bland as well but not as much as the Murray’s, a simple picture of the cookie was well portrayed on the packaging, attracting many of the testers, but there was no good information. The Mauntak package looked the most appealing to all the testers, including myself. The picture of the cookie looked delicious, with big chocolate chunks imbedded in a rich soft warm cookie, made all of us crave one immediately.

               Texture, taste and smell are all other leading factors that set various brands of cookies apart from others. Some types of cookies smell great but taste disgusting. The chips ahoy cookies had a rough texture and smelled delicious, they were also harder than most of the other cookie brands. They also tasted in my opinion better than most of the other chocolate chip cookies. The Murray cookies had a bit of a softer texture and were also smoother, although they tasted disgusting; this was probably due to the cookies being sugar free. The Archway cookies, due to the plain package, disgusting smell also had a taste that was almost unbearable and in comparison to the disgusting taste of the Wegman’s chocolate chip cookies. The Montauk cookies were very well presented and smelled good, they had a very soft texture with big chocolate chunks. I was not very pleased with the taste though, along with many other taste testers we agreed that they tasted like vinegar and raisins. The Keebler cookies were very soft and did not taste great but were also not bad, others argued that they tasted the best but I feel they were outweighed by the chips ahoy cookies. 

            Many taste testers agreed with each other on which cookies they thought tasted good, bad or okay and which ones presented themselves best. Eric was the only one in the group that liked the taste of the sugar free cookies while others said that they tasted very bland. Grant did not like a lot of the cookies either; he and many others thought that the Archway cookies were the worst.

            In my opinion I thought that the Chips ahoy! Chocolate chip cookies were the best. They had a perfect texture, presentation, smell and taste. The Keebler chips deluxe cookies were very similar to them as they presented themselves to a younger eater. Each cookie had very unique characteristics but after all were all classified under the same category of: chocolate chip cookies.